Missing the mark?

I don't remember if I mentioned this before, but...I'm really bad at reading people. I'm especially bad at reading guys. I live in the age of sex is all there is to it, but I want the age of romance. But when the guy that I'm interested in talks about finding the one who completes him, I get the idea that he's still looking, and hasn't found her yet. Which would either leave me out of the picture or else he hasn't figured it out yet. Am I jumping to conclusions? I tend to do that sometimes...er, rather, often. I'm still working on the patience issue. I'm just afraid that I'll miss the boat. The comfort for me would be that if I miss the boat, but know I wasn't to be on it anyhow, then it would be ok...

Figuring it out...

So I was thinking, and that can be a scary notion...Anyhow, I've been trying to figure out what exactly I want to do in life, what I want to accomplish, what's important, etc. I majored in graphic design for 2 years, and want to get a photographer's degree. I also want to finish my Bible major. But the fact is, I don't want to be in school for the next 6 years. It would tie me down, and I don't want that. It's not THAT important to me. Sure, getting a degree would be nice, but unless I'm going to use it for ministry, I really don't want it that bad. I know, I know...finish now or you'll regret it later. Well, what I've concluded is that I want to finish the Bible degree and get a 2 year photography degree. I don't want to finish my graphic design major. I've learned what I want, except for Publisher, and I know enough in order to do what I want, and that's freelance. I don't really have a burning desire to work for some marketing agency for the next 30 years. I'd rather have my hands free to raise a family, help people out on a more personal level. It's not about getting to the top - it's about making a difference. That's what's important to me. So will I regret not getting my graphic design degree? Probably. Most likely. But I would regret even more that I did not take more time helping people and being a ready available wife and mother (if that's God's will for me). I don't want to miss out on that.

Huh??

When an opportunity arises for something beneficial, why would the door get shut? Twice, within a week's time, I received opportunities for jobs in marketing firms where the positions applied for were at entry level. And twice I didn't get the job. Why? I'm not bitter. I'm not angry. I just don't get it. Maybe I'm not ambitious enough. Maybe I don't have high enough expectations of myself. Maybe my goals are not what they wanted. I don't know.
But I do know this: If God wanted me to have the job, He would have given it to me. Plain and simple. Clearly, He didn't. And I'm OK with that. Really. He provided me this job at Bath & Body Works, and I will work it to the best of my ability. I think I realized that He's giving me a better opportunity to take classes while I work. I could do that just as well with an office job at a marketing firm, but I also wanted to keep working at B&BW. So that would have been way too much going on, and too little time for anything else. At least now I can take a class and have time to study, too...brilliant, 'eh? Yeah, I thought so. :-)
Anyways, I guess my point is that I'm finally seeing things. It's finally making sense. God is working, He's being patient with me, and continually teaching me things that I keep forgetting or ignoring...He's so good! He wants more of my time, and that's just fine with me. He's providing for me, and I can give back to Him. He's also allowing me more time with someone that may be of permanence... I can handle that. :-)

Slow down...slow dance

Please slow this down, I want to figure it out...
Please slow down, so I know what to do...
Please slow down, I want to know you...
Please slow down...

And join me in this
Slow dance,
The slow dance of life...
We don't have much time,
But we need to make the most of it.
Slow dance,
The slow dance of life.
Dance with me.

I've waited my whole life for this,
So I don't want to miss out on anything.
I need to see if you're for real,
I need to see if you want the same thing.

Because we don't know what tomorrow will bring,
We have no guarantees.
So let's walk right through the opening
And see what lies on the other side.

Join me in this
Slow dance,
The slow dance of life...
We don't have much time,
But we need to make the most of it.
Slow dance,
The slow dance of life.
Dance with me.

Slow down,
And slow dance.

~Amy~

My cup runneth over...

I seem to have a hard time carrying a cup without spilling anything. Actually, it's more like trying to carry the dog's water dishes. But my clumsy hands shake and spill water over the sides, ruining the ease of sweeping the kitchen floor.
When I look at the circumstances I'm in, I often feel pessimistic. I don't look at the glass as half full, but rather, almost empty. So I finish it off and leave it alone. Refill? Not always.
But then I find that when the good times get going, the glass gets more full, closer to the brim. Then the water is overflowing, spilling on the floor, and it keeps on filling up. Like a fountain. It keeps going over the sides.
So in the tough times, I find that pessimism doesn't really leave me with many options. I can finish the glass and leave it on the counter. Or, I can leave the glass alone and just walk away. But if I look at the half full and still filling glass, I will see a lot more options. Keep on carrying the glass, keep on following the Creator, look for the positive aspects in life. Keep on keeping on.
When you feel like the glass is getting too empty, remember: The blessings come with optimism, and the optimism comes from seeing the bigger picture. Life is hard, but it's an adventure. And it gets better as your glass overflows.


"I have a hard time keeping the glass even half full sometimes. But every time it gets emptied, I turn around only to find it filled to overflowing again. And I know that it's by God's grace that I can carry on."

Peace.
Amy